Ares (he/him)

How has your health been?

For the most part, it’s good. I have a few issues. I need to have a hysterectomy done. But that’s up in the air until I figure out what’s going on with the VA Clinic.

Have you had a lot of mistreatment getting care from the VA?

I’ve had to deal with a lot of people that try to mean well, but just miss the mark every time. Last thing a trans man wants to hear is that you’re a feminist when you’re working on them. I have nothing wrong with feminism and I myself am a feminist, but I don’t want to hear that when you’re working on me. That’s not the best bedside manner to deal with a transgender individual, especially. I’ve noticed a lot of the time at the VA, people don’t care about your pronouns. I’ve had to separate from the VA clinic and go back to a civilian doctor because of how badly I was being handled. It was my primary care doctor’s team that was the problem. They didn’t give the team any real training about working with transgender people and then stuck these people in a transgender clinic, which doesn’t work. I walked out of my doctor’s office.

How is your organization working to address the problems being caused by anti-trans legislation?

We provide the space youth need to process their gender. Most of the people that do the work and go through therapy and take the time to learn about themselves before they transition, don’t detransition. This is something that is detrimental to the youth when it comes to being in a space where you’re not sure about your gender expression and not being able to have someone to help you navigate it.

What other material needs is your organization working to provide for the community?

We have a food pantry and provide gender affirming clothing as well as housing that is LGBTQ+ safe. Our transitional housing is called Lavender Landing. It’s LGBTQ+ run and only allows LGBTQ+ people in for safety reasons. We have a spend down program we use to house people that pays your rent for 6 months and as you’re able to pay more, it decreases until you can pay it by yourself. Our housing program also pays first and last month’s rent for people who can actually afford to pay their rent, but can’t afford the lump sum for a deposit. We use Equitas Health System to provide everything from mental healthcare to hormone replacement and referrals for reassignment and affirmative surgeries. We’re in a program with the Akron police department that designates us as a safe space. If you’re being harassed while you’re out in the city, you can come here and we’ll make sure no one bothers you. We do a lot of social events mostly to give the people in the community a safe place to go, to have fun, to socialize, and to meet people. We also offer an incentive for these events for our folks. A lot of folks don’t have money. So if I’m giving you an anti-violence class, I might say, come on to my anti-violence class. We’ll teach you how to do relationship building and conflict resolution and how to deal with people out in the world no matter who they are. “Oh, I don’t know if I got time for that.” “Well, hey, there’s a $125 incentive involved.” “Oh yeah, sign me up”. A lot of the people that come to class will come for the money and leave spreading knowledge and wanting to learn more.

Amidst all the legislation that’s coming out in the Ohio state house, what is the general feeling of your community’s sense of safety and security?

Everyone is terrified. Most of the guys I know that are trans don’t even want anybody to know they’re trans. And I’m talking about guys that were out, loud and proud. I watched my friends remake their Facebook pages just so nobody knew they were trans. People are completely wiping their identity online and worried we’re about to go through something in The Handmaid’s Tale. I’m sorry, but it ain’t worth it to me. I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees. I’m not changing a thing. I used to be worried about it, but not anymore. I’m just way God made me. If you don’t like it, take it up with him.

What would you say to President Biden around anti-trans legislation, and what the Federal Government should be doing in response?

I’d tell him that he needs to find some way to make a constitutional amendment to constitutionally protect bodily autonomy. If you’re over 18, no one should be able to tell you what you can do with your body. This addresses all of our issues from abortion to trans rights. In addition, another constitutional amendment where only the parent and or legal guardian or custodian of a child shall have the authority to make medical decisions for the child. No legislation. No court judge. Only the legal guardian or parents. A kid shouldn’t have to say they’re trans if they don’t want to and a therapist doesn’t need to tell the parent the child is trans. A therapist might say I need to talk to you about finding a therapist who specializes in the care that your child needs, but that’s it. Ultimately, the child gets to understand themself, and you end up being a healthy human. Isn’t that the main point?

If you take away those kids’ ability to get their health care needs, they’re gonna be miserable which means they’re gonna make their parents miserable, too. It’s gonna cause all kinds of dysfunction in those families. On top of that, it’s going to make trans people not wanna be bothered with cis people, cause they’re allowing it to happen. You can say you’re an ally, but until you stand up and do something to stop it, you ain’t my ally.

How do you want allies to start showing up for the community?

You know what would be amazing? If we had a protest of nothing but cisgender, heterosexual people in allyship with the LGBTQ+ community fighting this. No LGBTQ+ people in the protest at all, on

ly cisgender, heterosexual allies to show solidarity. I think that would make a huge statement like how the whole world having those Black Lives Matter protests did. The allies need to be louder and I mean a lot louder. They need to be proactive in stopping the homophobia and transphobia they see.

People need to stand firm on their support.

It’s easy for a person to victimize a single trans woman by herself. It’s a lot harder when she’s got three or four people with her. If you’re an ally, be an ally. If you’re with your homeboys and y’all don’t like what you’re seeing then step up and do something. Tell them to leave her alone. It doesn’t take anything to be kind and stand up for someone.

What do you want organizations, especially larger ones to start doing to fight this legislation?

Don’t talk about it; be about it. Putting rainbows on your logos does nothing. Get some lobbyists in the room and lobby against this stuff. Send out your people from your corporate headquarters down to the courthouse when they’re trying to pass legislation in the city that your corporate headquarters are in. There’s so many corporate headquarters in Ohio. Do you realize if all of of them showed up [at our state capitol], how bad that would have looked when they tried to pass these bills? Stovers, Malley’s Chocolates, Pepperidge Farm. If they sent a rep down there, do you think the legislature would have pushed any of that forward? Hell no! They wouldn’t! It’s when they sit back and do nothing that this stuff happens. Do something. If you don’t do anything, nothing changes.